For many students, sex without a condom is quite normal. In some circles, the use of the rubber contraceptive is more the exception than the rule. Students don’t mind, as long as there’s clear agreement about it.

Did you get laid last night?’ asks 20-year-old Sander* of his roommate Martin* (22). A grin spreads across Martin’s face. ‘With or without a condom?’ The answer turns out to be ‘without’. ‘Well done, mate!’ exclaims Sander, and the two triumphantly bump fists.

The two students with whom Vox reporters are talking find it normal to talk about each other’s nightly escapades. Sex without a condom turns out to be nothing special. But, the students emphasise, only if both parties have agreed to it.

One-night stand

It seems unwise, but in various student circles, sex without a condom seems to be no big deal. This is confirmed by GGD (Municipal Health Centre) figures. The latest edition of the ‘Sex before you’re 25’ survey took place in 2017 (held every 5 years by the GGD, in collaboration with Rutgers and Soa Aids Nederland). Only 29% of male and 19% of female respondents reported always using a condom with their latest sex partner. In the same survey, over 40% of young people whose last sex partner was a one-night stand reported not using a condom.

Colette van Bokhoven, sexual health physician at GGD Gelderland-Zuid, qualifies these figures, adding that ‘condom-less sex is of all times,’ and that ‘this isn’t limited to student circles.’ She also says that it’s hard to tell whether this is a growing trend. A new study on the topic is currently underway.

Vox spoke about it off the record with a number of students. They confirm that sex without a condom is seen as normal. The majority of students did not wish to be interviewed. Two male and two female students were prepared to share their story in public. But only using a pseudonym, since it’s still hard to talk openly about sex.

Chlamydia

‘Sex without a condom is just nicer,’ says Martin, as Sander nods in agreement. ‘It’s a more intense feeling because there’s nothing in the way. I find standard condoms not very comfortable anyway. Plus putting it on can be a real mood killer in the moment.’

The two female students both agree, independently from one another, that putting on a condom can ruin the mood. ‘But the argument that it feels nicer without it doesn’t apply to me,’ says 22-year-old Rosalie*. ‘I don’t notice any difference.’

‘I often ask my male partner before we have sex whether he’s safe’

Sander and Martin, both members of a Nijmegen fraternity, say that unprotected sex is the most normal thing in the world among fraternity members. Martin: ‘In our social circles, I know enough people who are more likely to have sex without than with a condom. Once in a while, you hear stories about people who have contracted chlamydia or something. It’s not unusual.’ This is confirmed in off-the-record talks with other fraternity members, both male and female.

In addition, all four students mention alcohol as a factor in not being particularly inclined to use a condom. ‘When I’m drunk, to be honest, I don’t even think about it,’ confesses Sander.

Pregnancies

And yet sex without a condom is not the norm in all student groups. Rosalie: ‘Lots of my girlfriends are actually highly critical when I tell them that I’ve had unprotected sex. They warn me of the dangers. I have to say that as a result, I’ve recently become more cautious, and I’ve started using condoms more.’

In the ‘Sex before you’re 25’ survey, unprotected sex in the context of a onenight stand is seen as problematic, due to the risk of contracting an STI. GGD physician Van Bokhoven: ‘Condoms protect against STIs and pregnancy. Plus, condoms are the only way men can make sure a woman doesn’t get pregnant.’

Fear of pregnancy is in any case not a factor for the two female students we interviewed. ‘I use other contraceptives. So I’ve taken care of that aspect,’ says Anna* (24). The same applies to Rosalie. Sander and Martin say that they ask beforehand whether their partner is using another form of contraception – and trust her answer.

But what about the fear of STIs? ‘I often ask my male partner before we have sex whether he’s safe,’ says Anna. ‘If he says ‘yes’, I trust that. It’s not that I need to see a negative test on the spot. Plus, the threshold for going to the GGD for an STI test is low: they’re really accessible. And if you don’t want to go to the GGD, you can always order a test online. You’ll get it in the post the next morning.’

‘I’ve contracted chlamydia a few times,’ says Martin. ‘I just had to take some antibiotics for it. Two pills, and a week later, it was all gone [the antibiotics treatment for women usually takes longer, Eds.].’

More serious conditions, such as herpes or HIV, are not really on the students’ radar. ‘Sure, you can catch diseases like these, but the odds are really low,’ says Anna. The men think the same. Sander, with a wink: ‘I’m not really worried about it. If I see a mushroom growing on the end of my penis – that’s when I’ll start worrying.’

Consent

But, Van Bokhoven warns: ‘Some STIs are becoming harder to treat, because they’re becoming resistant to antibiotics. Right now, we can still treat all STIs, but that could change in the near future. That’s why the GGD isn’t only focusing on curing, but mostly on preventing sexually transmitted infections.’

I’m obviously not going to insist on having unprotected sex if a women feels uncomfortable about it’

The physician agrees that what matters in sex is that partners talk to each other about whether they’re using any other form of contraception. ‘If someone wants to use condoms, that’s OK, without the other person trying to convince them otherwise. It’s important that anyone who wants to have sex can do so on their own terms. Consent is the main thing here.’

For students too, consent plays an important role. ‘If a woman says she’d prefer to use a condom, I’ll put one on – no problem,’ says Martin firmly. Sander adds: ‘I’m obviously not going to insist on having unprotected sex if a woman feels uncomfortable about it. Wearing a condom isn’t such a big deal.’

And rightly so, says Rosalie. ‘I’ve noticed that it’s actually much nicer to agree on the use of a condom beforehand. And when a guy is understanding about it, it only makes him more attractive to me. So it’s a win-win.’

* For privacy reasons, the students’ names in this article were changed. The real names are known to the editors.