Happiness and pleasure are closely related. ‘Jaxx’ primarily delivers the latter. And yes, he also visits student houses.

In his work as a gigolo, he’s known as Jaxx. He’d rather not make his name public: his parents, for example, don’t know that he goes to bed with women for money. ‘The only people who know about it are two good friends of mine. And my wife of course.’ This is actually the reason he’s giving this interview. ‘I want to break the taboo. It’s quite acceptable for men to hire prostitutes. It’s a very different thing when a woman hires a gigolo.’

‘It’s quite acceptable for men to hire prostitutes’

In the Utrecht Central Station hall, Jaxx speaks freely about his work and the double life he leads: he is a primary school teacher with two children. He looks casual enough: jeans, black T-shirt. He’s 39, fairly short, with dark hair. On his Twitter profile he writes that he often gets compliments about his bum and penis – but we don’t get to see these today.

What was your first paid job like?

‘I was following the academic teacher training programme in Nijmegen. I went to a lot of parties. One night I was talking to an older woman, who fancied me and wanted me to go home with her. ‘I don’t mind paying you for it’ she said. As a student, I didn’t have much money, so I thought: why not? It was fun, so after that I signed up for an escort service. Nowadays I work for myself and I’m registered with Gentleman’s Company, an advertising platform that also has a Nijmegen branch.’

What kind of clients do you get?

‘Usually women aged 25 to 40. But I sometimes get hired by older women. And yes, sometimes by students too.’

Why would a young woman hire a gigolo? It can’t be that hard to find a man willing to have sex.

‘I sometimes ask my clients this very question. The most important reason they give is that women don’t just want sex, they want attention. A date with me usually involves mostly sex, but there’s also cuddling, a massage, and good conversation. Men who roll out of the pub in a drunken daze just want to fuck. My work is about much more than sex alone. For example, I always take them out to dinner first.’

Do you sometimes turn a client down?

‘I don’t turn down women aged 18 and older. Every woman is attractive in her own way. I do find it important that a woman looks well-groomed.’

Do you enjoy your dates with students?

‘Of course it’s fun to date young women. But the nicest age group is 25 to 40. These are women who know what they want and who have quite a bit of life experience. That’s not the case with young students. Also, students usually don’t have much money, so they can only hire me for an hour.’

Do you often visit student houses?

‘Students usually rent a room in a cheap hotel. I do remember one date that took place in a student house – that was very funny. It was a big house and her housemates were all home. It all had to be very hush-hush. This student hired me because she had never given anyone a blow job, and her boyfriend really wanted her to give him one. Luckily, I’m not only a gigolo, but also a teacher, so my didactic skills really came in useful, ha-ha.’

Are students nowadays different from twenty years ago, when you were a student?

‘These days, students tend to take off their clothes more easily; they are less prudish. But in terms of sex, it used to be better: before, when students did take off their clothes, they were really open to adventure. Now they want all sorts of things, but when it comes to it, they get shy.’

Why do you think that is?

‘Probably because of apps like Tinder. Nowadays people tend to go for quick dates. Students are not used to getting so much attention anymore, and as a result, they don’t want to make themselves vulnerable. Once you really get to know each other, you become more daring. Sometimes a student wants a kind of 50 Shades of Grey date. That really opens up a whole new world for them.’

Do you talk to your clients about their personal problems, such as stress?

‘It’s usually the 30-plus women who talk a lot about why they hired me. Often they have problems with their partners; they feel abandoned, or lonely. At times like this, I’m also just someone to talk to. But it’s up to them to start talking about these things – I don’t initiate this kind of conversation. Students don’t talk much about personal problems. They’re mostly just curious about my work and what I do. This is what they ask about.’

Do you contribute to your clients’ happiness?

‘For some clients, I certainly play an important role, especially if they feel lonely. I also have a fixed client whose husband can’t have sex with her anymore because of his physical condition. He doesn’t think this should stop his wife from enjoying herself. So not all my clients hire me in secret, without their partners knowing.’

Does going on dates contribute to your happiness?

‘I can certainly enjoy a good date with a client, but it’s nothing compared to how I feel with my own partner. When I’m at work I completely switch off any feelings of love.’

Is there no room for your own needs and feelings on a date?

‘Of course I enjoy it when a client gives me a massage. And it’s nice when the sex comes easily. Which is not always the case. Sometimes I can’t get a hard-on. Especially if a client wants to have sex for a long time, I sometimes pop a pill. People pay a lot of money for a date with me [basic rate €100 per hour, students get a discount, MN] so I’ve got to perform. I put my own feelings on the back burner. In fact, I can just flip a mental switch to make sure I don’t orgasm. How do I do it? Practice, I guess.’