Being a native English speaker makes you lazy (a sweeping generalisation). Deep down, we all believe that even if we find ourselves in a tiny village in the middle of nowhere we will be understood in some way.

Of course I am as much against this form of neo-colonialism as the next person, but I am also, at my very core, a lazy person. Therefore I make excuses for myself. Living in the Netherlands facilitates this behaviour. You guys have made it so easy for me to be lazy. I know that if I speak to anyone under the age of, say, 60 (and a fair few over that age as well) I will be understood. Well give or take a bit of grappling with my Scottish accent.

This makes it all too easy to create excuses not to learn Dutch; ‘But everyone speaks English so well!’ can quickly be combined with ‘No one speaks Dutch outside of the Netherlands anyways’, creating a perfect excuse for me to watch another episode of First Dates instead of studying Dutch.  (If you have never seen First Dates you should watch it right now, it will make you believe in the goodness of humanity again.)

However, by not speaking the language of the culture you live in you miss out on all the little things that create that very culture, from the general chitchat of everyday life to full on philosophical debates down the pub. It would be so much nicer if I could actually say ‘lovely day’, or some other pointless but lovely nicety, to the cashier in Albert Heijn. Instead I just say ‘Ja’ to everything they say until the inevitable awkward moment where a non-yes/no question is asked and I have to decide if I have gone too far and I should continue with my Dutch charade or if I should start any conversation with ‘I don’t speak Dutch’ like an awful stereotypical ‘Brit-Abroad’. Enough excuses, I’m downloading Duolingo as we speak… Well maybe after one more episode of First Dates.

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